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12 December 2012

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Thought provoking. Yes, we all, women and men, have deep anxiety and depression from time to time. That's what being human brings. Let's hope all of us can express that without shame. And eventually surrender and let it go. Your Dad was one of those sensitive men who was outwardly stoic. Lots of those around. That comes with a price, doesn't it?

Your dad did struggle on a few tough occasions, and probably feeling shame was part of all that. But I know he knew you understood and it meant the world to both of us when you were able to open up some. Remember that fantastic Atlantic article about Lincoln and depression that he shared with you? Depression/anxiety became another challenge that he faced and he did it, like with everything, by studying it. And not running away. You were there to talk to him as an intelligent, caring adult who had experienced the same. Your mother got the happy gene and, altho I am pretty empathetic, it was very hard for me to really understand what he was going through. And he knew that. But you COULD understand and he knew that. After the last bad bought, I don't think he felt ashamed at all. He understood it.

After losing your father, I now understand a lot more. Wisdom is hard earned.

And those "grief bursts" come a lot less frequently now, but they can blindside you. And you never know what will bring it on. That was a wonderful last Christmas together and very special. Love, Mom

We all miss him so much, particularly his incredible depths of intelligence, empathy, and compassion. This essay is a great tribute to those qualities. I feel so fortunate to have (had) him in my life.

He knew that you/we appreciated his authentic presentation of self, and he was much humbler than most white horse riders. Thank you for this beautiful, even if sad, tribute to one of the world's finest men.

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